“The time has come for someone to put his foot down, and that foot is me”… America’s wealthiest universities are reevaluating large private equity allocations as returns lag broader markets and deal activity wanes – Princeton, Yale and Harvard have cut or sold stakes, signaling a shift from what was long a core endowment strategy. [20 bonus points and BFF status if you recognize the quote]
“Money, money, money, money”… AI large language model company Anthropic closed a historic $30 billion funding round (valuing it at $380 billion) and surpassed OpenAI in cumulative capital raised.
Who knew??? A 20-year-old California woman is suing Meta Platforms and Google, alleging they deliberately designed Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to hook children, claiming “these companies built machines designed to addict the brains of children, and they did it on purpose.”
More regulation by enforcement??? Peer-to-peer Bitcoin exchange Paxful was ordered to pay $4 million in criminal fines (reduced from a proposed $112 million penalty due to inability to pay) after admitting it enabled money laundering and prostitution-related transactions.
“But that’s all right my love, ’cause you’re my home”… US homeowners are holding onto their properties longer than at any point since at least 2000, with average tenure reaching 8.6 years at the end of 2025 versus 4.2 years in 2000, a trend seen across nearly every major metro area.
“Your friend Harvey is bigger than you? I have a friend Shirley, that’s bigger than you”… Harvey, an AI legal-software startup, is in talks to raise approximately $200 million in a round that would value the company at $11 billion – with Sequoia Capital and Singapore’s sovereign wealth fund GIC expected to participate. [if you recognize the quote you get 25 bonus points – and you get me]
Bitcoin, won, what’s the difference??? South Korean crypto exchange Bithumb accidentally credited users with roughly 2,000 bitcoin each, totaling about 620,000 BTC (~$40 billion), instead of the intended 2,000 won ($1.40) reward. Almost 99.7% was recovered after the mistake was discovered.
Wait, can I still invest and get that juicy yield??? Skyline Technologies’ CEO was indicted for defrauding investors of over $1 million by falsely claiming the company was developing an AI trading platform that could guarantee annual returns of up to 22%, misleading investors about performance and product development.
“You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality”… Bitcoin’s current cryptography may one day be vulnerable to powerful quantum computers capable of breaking its digital signatures – while practical threats remain years away, the community is debating urgency, upgrading to quantum-safe cryptography, and planning ahead before “Q-Day” arrives.
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