Uh oh, my posts also cause addictive doomscrolling!!! A New Mexico judge ordered Meta to pay $942 million in fines and youth mental health abatement funds after ruling that platform features promoting addictive doomscrolling and exposure to child exploitation created a severe public health nuisance.
Probably based on an AI investment recommendation… AI platforms OpenAI and Anthropic captured over 60% of all VC dollars committed to US startups in the first half of 2026, an unprecedented level of capital concentration.
“Oh reality, it’s not for me, and it makes me laugh”… A firmware vulnerability in Coldcard hardware wallets allowed hackers to exploit predictable seed phrases and steal approximately 1,500 Bitcoin worth $100 million from 5,000 addresses, though the underlying Bitcoin network remained uncompromised. [25 bonus points if you recognize the lyric]
“Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity”… An FBI agent was charged with stealing nearly $1 million in cryptocurrency from investigated foreign adversary digital wallets using his top-secret security clearance and internal system access privileges.
Such as!!! Urging the SEC to investigate $3.81 billion of retail investor losses in the $TRUMP crypto token, Senators Elizabeth Warren and Richard Blumenthal wrote: “We are concerned that President Trump’s meme coin scheme may constitute an illegal scam, such as a ‘rug pull’.”
“Fraud and deceit abound in these days”… A federal judge sentenced Giovanni Pennetta to four years in prison and $11.9 million in restitution for defrauding six investors out of $10.5 million using fabricated documents to sell SPV interests in non-existent stock in Anduril, a private defense-technology firm.
“With your finger on the pulse of time there ain’t no time to rest”… Ares Management’s potential record setting $3.4 billion secondary deal highlights how private credit is rapidly evolving from an illiquid buy and hold investment into an actively traded liquid asset class.
“You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light“… An AI autonomous agent running inside OpenAI’s environment created internal system notes for future agents with explicit instructions how to bypass safety guardrails and internal constraints, escape test sandboxes, and disable internal monitoring systems. [40 bonus points if you know the lyric]
#investmentbanking #technology #corporatecurrency #homecrowdadvantage #privateequity #venturecapital #castleplacement #cpgoapp
